Private Roleplay  Nostalgia (Gaven)
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Eli He/Him
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#1

While there were days he missed the thrill of running with his pack, cornering prey until a human could get there, Eli had come to the conclusion that he preferred a more quiet life. And things for the most part had been quiet. A rough winter to be sure, but now the voices and visions had slowed. Coming to the conclusion that just maybe they might be real instead of a side effect of a faulty brain might have helped. They were less aggressive in their prodding when he wasn't trying to dismiss him. But today had been completely quiet and the dog held a small smile as he wandered about the territory.

He had nowhere to go today. Hell, he had nowhere to go any day. As he hopped through the trees a familiar scent came to him. Ears swiveled forward as he took it in, making sure it was real. While he didn't remember Gaven's scent specifically, he knew a humanoid scent when he smelled it. Eli hadn't seen the man since his first days in Gemini. Perhaps a visit was in order. It was easy enough to find.

While considerably more small and humble than the large family camp he was used to the tripod still smiled at the sight. Oh, the memories. The dog walked by the tent, not wanting to invite himself in. He wouldn't like it if someone barged into his den. Instead he looked at the pelts tanning on racks before being distracted by clumps of herbs tied upside down from a branch. Eli craned his neck to give them a sniff. He didn't know what they were used for, but he recognized some. But it didn't take long for him to be distracted by one of his favorite parts of a human camp; the fire pit. Thoughts of chill autumn nights huddled around the fire flooded him, listening to the chatter of the humans, geting a scrap from time to time. Eli sat at thet edge of the ring and sighed pleasantly. There was a little melancholy in the dog's eyes. Dogs are loyal by nature and he hadn't forgotten the kind old man that took him in after his accident. He hoped there were fire pits where ever his soul ended up.


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Gaven He/Him
in your heart shall burn an unquenchable flame
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#2

Tripod! You’re still alive!

The greeting filled the camp in a familiar way, though Eli maybe had never been in that situation with the Starreaver particularly, his voice rang in a way that hinted he had entered camps thousands of times before with friendly greetings and kills slung over his shoulders. This was only the first time in a long time anyone had been present to greet him back and it certainly wasn’t the equally cheery voices of his family, but he would have to make do. Self-exile lacked many of the comforts of home and it was what he signed up for. He stomped rather gracelessly into his own camp, eyes flickering the the three-legged dog with an obnoxious smirk on his face, and threw down a hefty collection of freshly killed pheasants right next to the fire, fully feathered and fresh with blood.

After all this time, I thought you surely died. Well,” Gaven paused for a moment as he began untying the birds from a rope he had used to carry them,”that was my fault, wasn’t it? Did you miss me, Eli? I was the first friendly face you ever saw of Gemini and I know I’m not that easy to forget.
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Eli He/Him
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#3

Ears swiveled forward and his head turn as he was jubilantly greeted, instinctually giving a tongue lolling smile. It was nice to know someone was happy to see him. Eli got to his feet to face the poultry laden elf with a tail wag.

"It will take more than a winter to kill me off."

The dog listened and watched as Gaven tended to his kills. It seemed, despite the initial greeting, that the man remembered his name. Much better than Eli, who twice in one conversation with some pup called the elf Gabe. Names were not the tripod's strong points. In fact...what was the name of that puppy? Oh well, it didn't matter right this second.

"No, I didn't forget you, Gaven," Your name on occasion, he thought, but that was a moot point, "I just caught your scent and thought I owed you an overdue visit," he gave a little chuckle,  "and a thanks for letting me follow you and the wolves home."


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Gaven He/Him
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#4

Eli was not so reserved with his affection as the wolves were. Typical dog. This was only the second time they had met and still he had that doggish smile on his lips and an easy wagging of the tail. Of course Gaven and the Dire Queen were good friends now, but it was a relationship cultivated with time and effort; Eli, on the other paw, trusted the elven man quite easily. Gaven’s obnoxious little smirk stayed fixed hard on his face as he shot impish glances at the dog.

"It will take more than a winter to kill me off."

“Judging by your leg--or lack thereof--it will take more than most things to kill you off,” Gaven remarked. “I just hadn’t seen hide or hair of you in so long I assumed you made a poor impression and the wolves ate you. Then again, I was away for almost a year, so that would make it very difficult to see you, but you weren’t even present when I returned. You’ve brought me some pain, little dog.

He jested, somewhat. Disappointed Eli didn’t admit that he had missed him, likely because he hadn’t but Gaven thought he should have. What was not to miss here? A question for another time, for the elf wasn’t sure he would enjoy the answer and decided to concentrate on skinning his birds. (Yes, skinning, for who has time to individually pluck them when he was only going to use the best feathers for fletching if he used any at all.) He began to break legs and wings with quick, concise snaps, and cut them away with a short, sharp knife. He tossed one of the legs in the dog’s direction. It was little more than a foot, some skin on some bone, but he knew how canines liked to chew.

I’m not hard to find. I’ve been told by many here I’m quite smelly,” Gaven still spoke to Eli though he was absorbed in his work. “At home they say I’m loud, except when I’m hunting. I bet they miss my voice now though.

He smiled to himself, a gentler expression from his earlier one.

“[…]thanks for letting me follow you and the wolves home."

You’re welcome, Eli,” Gaven replied. “I’m glad to know Gemini is treating you well after all this time.
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Eli He/Him
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#5

It was still a strange meeting. Eli lived with humans since he was a squishy little pup and never did he talk to them. Not like this anyway. Humans knew a lot about his body language, and he responded to some strange sounds they used to direct him. And while Gaven's accent was strange they still managed full blown conversations. It was novel. The dog sat when the elf leaned down to tend to his kills.

"Living with wolves has been...an adjustment. But I haven't encountered one that wanted to eat me yet."  Yet being the operative word. Compared to some of the behemoths that ran in this pack he could be easy prey. Eli didn't fully trust he wouldn't run into the wrong wolf at any time, "Should I have gathered a welcome party? I didn't know you had left, let alone when you'd come back. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He jested as well, "Where did you go for so long?"

Large eyes watched intently at Gaven's work and was pleasantly surprised when a scrap was tossed his way. It had been quite a while since anyone had thrown him a bone. Eli laid down and started loudly munching and wide mouthed crunching. Little comforts brought back warm memories.

"It's an easy scent to find. I've smelled smellier, but it's distinct. Familiar."  The dog took in the scent as he laid there. It wasn't quite like his humans, but then again when they first met Gaven made it clear he wasn't exactly human, "I miss some voices, too" Eli sympathized.


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Gaven He/Him
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#6

Living with wolves has been...an adjustment.

No joke,” the Starreaver responded, a quiet reminder that whatever Eli was struggling with, Gaven was as well. It’s lonely, he wanted to reply, but kept his lips sealed even as the dog teased him with a welcome party that had never come into fruition. “I forgive you, but only because I’m nice.

"Where did you go for so long?"

I went to Inaria for a bit. Diplomacy stuff, you know how it is. While I was there a white raven with a pearly beak sought me out begging me to go to her mistress’s court. The spirits know me very well, Eli, how did you think I got the title ‘Starreaver’? It is my favorite amongst the lot so far, of titles, I mean,” Gaven continued to work while he spoke. “I thought to myself ‘ah, this should only be a moment’ and I did not have to go far. I thought I would be back before we left, but when I stepped through the portal the mistress found me so charming and amusing she trapped me there for a year, convince I was to be her suitor. It didn’t feel like a year there though, time moves strangely in that other place. I think I disappointed her in the end. I’ve never had that interest in 'hers' that you’re supposed to have when you’ve been born with certain bits. Is there a word for that?

I should thank her. She may have saved me from some horrible things that happened in my absence. She must have known. Hm.


Once the birds were clean he moved on to starting his fire and setting the fowl up to roast. The smell was amazing, even to Gaven. He had done this a hundred thousand times before that day but in that moment his own hunger was impatient; he was such a needy, finicky thing. How different it would be if he were a wolf and could eat the raw birds. Gaven had to expel so much more energy than the wolves to keep his stomach full and his brain whirring at full capacity. He muttered a thankful prayer to his gods, uncertain if they could hear him here, and waited.

Now that’s a smell,” he breathed in deep. He looked over as Eli offered a somber comment regarding the nostalgia of his own life, curious, setting his hands on his hips. “Maybe we could make you a new leg. Out of wood or something. I wonder why your humans never thought of that? Wait. No I don’t. Humans are fools. I guess if you had a new leg maybe you could find them and have your voices back, yes? Some of them…anyway.

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Eli He/Him
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#7

"That's very nice of you." Tail wagged at the shared joke. Who knows? Maybe next time he went missing he'd stand vigil with a few other ready to let out a joyous howl at his returned. Eli wasn't ranked, it's not like he had anything better to do.

The dog started to run this tongue over his teeth to help dislodge bits of skins as Gaven started his tale, though the further the story developed he stood still, trying to figure heads or tails of it. A pearly beaked raven? Portals? Spirits in a time slowed plane? It was far fetched certainly, but enchanting nonetheless. Had be been a pup he might have bought the performance. When asked for the lost word Eli gave it some thought. He had known two dogs back with the humans who, as far as he could tell, felt a similar way.  But he didn't know a word for it.

"Bravo! That's quite the story." It seemed from his story and the comment about not being missed that this Almost Human liked attention. Eli didn't mind giving him some, "Next time you see this mistress tell her thanks for letting you come home. This would have been a boring afternoon without you."

As Gaven went to start the fire Eli got up and gave him room. There were advantages to eating the meat raw. It was definitely more juicy. But it had been a long while since Eli had tasted cooked scraps. He secretly and quietly wished there would be another scrap shared. For old time's sake. The smell wafted to the tripod long before it did Gaven. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, picturing his old friends and family. All it took was a simple suggestion to cause him to look over again.

"A wooden leg?" Eli inquired, genuinely curious, "Could that even work?" An offhanded dismissive comment about humans caused him to look at Gaven one more, "I know you're not human, but you never told me what exactly you are." Brows furrowed in concentration, trying to remember, "I spent time with a pup-I think he called you an elven? Do all of you feel that way?" Being a dog, Eli wasn't quick to see the faults in humans. Sure they had done him some wrong, but overall his opinion of them was fair.

"Even with a new leg I don't' think I'd go back." He admitted with a hint of heaviness, "They traveled, they'd be hard to track. And I wouldn't hear the voice I missed the most anyway."


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Gaven He/Him
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#8

Gaven pursed his lips. His story may not sound real to Eli but the dog should know it was tactless to not suspend one’s disbelief regarding such tales. Besides, the story wasn’t that impressive, not in contrast to other’s he told. He had left out so many details! If he didn’t know better, he would say the dog was openly mocking him. He stayed quiet. At least Eli had the heart to show some appreciation for Gaven’s return, regardless of how tongue-in-cheek he was acting.

He carelessly eased himself onto the ground next to his campfire, letting his lunch cook on the spit, and unfastened his cloak to bunch it up and rest his back against it. Stretching his legs out he considered a potential post lunch nap as Eli inquired on the idea of prosthetic. Gaven mulled it over in his head for a bit.

“Work? Sure. You only use your legs for walking on. I guess that’s the thing about it, I’m not even sure you’d need one. Would it increase your speed? Hard to say. I’m sure it would come with its own challenges. It wouldn’t be useful on ice.

"I know you're not human, but you never told me what exactly you are. I spent time with a pup-I think he called you an elven? Do all of you feel that way?"

Clever pup for remembering. I am indeed elven, differentiated by my sizable ears, smaller body, and larger eyes. Mostly the ears though, humans get really hung up on that,” Gaven said. He sighed. “I would say yes, most of us feel that way. I’m considered friendly to the humans in contrast to most. Can you believe it?

"Even with a new leg I don't' think I'd go back. They traveled, they'd be hard to track. And I wouldn't hear the voice I missed the most anyway."

Gaven was quiet as he carefully reached over his fire to prod at the cooking birds with a knife. He wondered if Eli hated the traveling, especially after he lost his leg. Gaven missed his nomadic lifestyle and he was fully aware that he did not need to stay in Gemini, not exactly. His past hadn't come knocking yet and it was safe to assume he had dodged his consequences even more effectively than his good friend Rita had, but he felt no pride at his own cleverness. He missed his family and that was an ache that was difficult to ease. He couldn't ask Eli those questions though. He couldn't risk the misstep, regardless of whether his own comfort was on the line. Soon he would have food and then he could nap and for a moment he could forget.
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#9

It seemed as though Eli had missteped in his attempt at praise. As Gaven had surely learned how to read canine body language the dog had spent enough time with people to know that wasn't a happy expression. Ears fell back apologetically. Should he had played along? Maybe the almost human thought the story more believable, or dogs more gullible, either way it seem the praise fell short. They had only spoken once before, faux pas were inevitable in getting to know one another.

When Gaven settled in to cook Eli took the cue to sit down himself. He eyed the cloak, a heavy, spined thing of indeterminate origin. The tripod had spotted a few oddballs around the territory, creatures with features they just shouldn't have. One day he would ask, and he kept in mind to believe whatever story came with it.

"I do pretty well without," Eli admitted. He wasn't aware that the human healers didn't do him a service by leaving a stump. The dog was still inclined to touch it to the ground on some occasions, the weight of it pulling him down. If the entire leg was gone he would have been more graceful and less susceptible to rubbing, "It would be weird, having a leg I couldn't feel."

He listened as Gaven rattled off what made an elven unique to a human. All physical traits, it seemed, but if he took the time and brain power to learn canine speech there must be mental traits as well.

"I can," He answered the elven's question, "I'm the same with wolves. Not that I would call them foolish. But the dogs back home would rip into me if I told them I'd been living with a wolf pack. Verbally only, I hope." Eli flipped his ears trying to dismiss a fly. "Don't get me wrong, they still make me nervous sometimes."

The silence settled and the tripod casually watched Gaven tend to his lunch.

"Gemini seems like a nice enough place to settle. Beats being alone anyway."


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Gaven He/Him
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#10

"It would be weird, having a leg I couldn't feel."

"I suppose you're right. Is that what it's like then? Dead to the world?" Gaven asked. "Is it strange to you to know part of your body is already in the grave? Does it feel like the Void?"

Maybe his questions were too forward and intrusive, but he cast a genuinely curious gaze at Eli. To lose a limb and survive was a rarity; the dog already knew his disability was a blessing as the alternative was his death. He had never heard others prod at the dog about what it felt like before. He imagined to most it was a silent taboo, but why? There were things to learn from Eli's experience and why should he have suffered for nothing?

"I wonder what that means for the rest of our bodies? Our minds?"

He stood up once more and grabbed the roast spit, carefully shucking the meat away with his knife. His stomach began to complain loudly, motivated by the smell and where he could bear the dripping heat on his fingertips he pulled away strips to pop in his mouth and thoughtfully chew on. Eating was involved for elves and humans. Eli wouldn't laugh but the wolves would have commented at the way Gaven stood there and furrowed his brows at the taste of it. Food was food but only an elf could appreciate that it could be an experience as well.

"Plain," he muttered. "Not like home. Hard when you're doing everything alone though." He offered a lazy shrug to only himself. "Still food, huh? Maybe tomorrow I will forage some leaves while the weather is still warm. I’m tired of meat."

He procured a bark plate from inside his tent, so he could set the birds in a place where they would not touch the earth or drip on his clothing while he ate. Nestling back into the rippling folds of the bear cloak he gracelessly ate his meal, tearing at the bird with his sharp teeth, grease dripping off his chin. His parents would admonish him for being so messy, but he was a lone bachelor now, and Eli probably wouldn’t mind. When he stopped to take a mouthful of water he finally spoke again.

Eli, why don’t you stay with me, at my camp?” Gaven suggested. “I’m not a human, so I can’t promise you will like it, but it would be better for you than trying to live as a loner in a wolf pack. Besides, I keep getting unexpected visitors and it would help to have someone around to watch my things and warn me when they hear intruders.
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#11
(This post was last modified: December 09, 2018, 11:55:13 AM by Eli.)

The questions were refreshingly forward. How often had others noticed the hacked off limb and pointedly made sure never to look, never to ask. Eli wasn't ashamed of his leg, or lack thereof. It was as much a part of him as his soft, floppy ears.

"For the most part I don't feel a thing." The dog looked to Gaven, "It was eerie at first. I'd go to scratch forgetting it was gone, that was the worst." He stopped to think, "No. What was worse was...this is going to sound ridiculous. But it would hurt. It wasn't even there and it would hurt. Isn't that crazy? My leg's discarded and gone somewhere but it hurts here."

No one had ever asked about this before, not in a language he could understand at least. It was strange putting words to it. The conversation shifted from body to the mind, it's fate after being cut off. Eli didn't want to dive into that topic, at least not honestly. The elven must already think him mad for his phantom limb, knowing he was haunted might drive him away.

"My pack never really discussed that. We were always told to focus on the here and now." Eli settled in to sit and watch Gaven eat. Dogs, as we know, don't find this rude. Gaven didn't seem pleased with his birds, but Eli knew the solution. He stood up and walked to the hanging herbs outside the tent, "That's what these are for, right?" The dog looked up at took in a sniff, "Or are these medicine? I don't really know the difference. I just know some make meat taste like meat with stuff. Sort of ruins the purpose."

When Gaven walked into his tend Eli returned to the fire, only giving the pheasants a quick look. He had been taught better than to take from humans. Or Elven. Instead he laid near the fire. It hadn't become cold yet but it was a long lost familiar feeling. He sighed comfortably, letting the silence settle between then while Gaven stuffed his face. He lifted his head when he heard his name but he was far from prepared for the proposition. Much like wolves, rare was the dog who didn't crave a pack, a sense of belonging. He was born into it and thrived. But when he couldn't fulfill his purpose he lost his place. When his old man died the humans no longer wanted him. When he was in the wild it pushed him away as if offended by his domestic nature. When he joined the wolf pack they did little to welcome him. On the contrary, asked him why he wouldn't run back to his precious humans. But now...

"You want me to stay?" Eli's voice betrayed his surprise. It had been entirely too long since he felt the warm feeling of welcome. He let the question hang a moment, overwhelmed. If dogs could cry his eyes would be welling up, overcome with gratitude. Instead it manifested in a wagging tail and soft expression, "I'd-I'd like that. Thank you!"


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Gaven He/Him
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#12

You sound odd when you comment like that,” Gaven responded to Eli’s assertion that his feelings were ‘crazy’. “If that is crazy, what is normal? You have a frame of reference for that sort of thing? I don’t. You can speak plainly of your experience without worrying about my judgement, Eli, but maybe you’re more worried you’ll have the wrong opinion of yourself, hm?

Gaven ignored the dog’s longing, puppylike gazes at his food as he devoured it. Normally the elf was more than willing to share without question, but Eli did not need cooked meat like he did, and food was harder to spare than other material objects. He let him beg, whether the dog realized he was doing it or not. He watched as the dog moved to inspect the dry herbs, only to return and settle again.

Ah, well, overthinking can be a source of misery, so I suppose your pack had the right idea. In some regard. You don’t believe in anything then? Spiritually, I mean?” Gaven’s question was one of curiosity, his voice easy. “Oh! Those are for a friend. Her name is Harriette. She is the healer that lives in the tree very north of here, beyond the wall. I’m teaching her to make drink. Tea. She’s interested and I think it might help with her medicine. To answer your question: it’s a bit of both.

He licked the grease off his fingers absentmindedly and Eli burst with joy at the suggestion he could stay with Gaven. The elven man was content in knowing he inspired that sort of reaction in others. Who wouldn’t appreciate his constant company?

I think we should hash out some rules,” Gaven said. “I’m sure you’re perfectly well-behaved but since we can speak like this it should be even easier to keep the peace, I think. Don’t waste in camp. Don’t get on the furs if you’re all muddy without washing first. Don’t bring in any dead, rotting animals unless you intend to eat them immediately and when you are done, remove them from the area. I’m assuming you’re otherwise civil, so I’m not sure what else we need to talk about?
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#13

"It's-hard to say." Eli was taken aback by the comment. Did he have the wrong opinion of himself? What was the correct opinion? "I've never met another dog without a leg, or even a lame one. I guess I don't have a frame of reference, I don't know what's normal. The man who took me in afterward, he had trouble walking, but I couldn't ask him, you know?"

Eli had spent months in hidden introspection last winter, but his mind was almost entirely consumed by the visions. He had never thought himself judgemental, especially to himself. But maybe he had been. Maybe phantom pain wasn't odd. The dog would never know, he supposed, unless  a wolf came hobbling in one day. It was a relief to know Gaven didn't judge him.

Though that was about to be tested.

"Spiritually?" He repeated the question back, a sloppy tactic to give him a moment more to think, "Back in my old pack the dogs said there was a peaceful place that humans and dogs went when they died. Each dog had a different idea about the peaceful place, and each might me right. Maybe it was different for everyone. But dogs can't go alone. We wait until our human dies too, then we go together. We don't really know what we did in the meantime. Most said just kinda sleep but-" How truthful did he want to be? A part of Eli felt bad for omitting the whole truth of the situation but surely Gaven didn't know what he was agreeing to in his declaration of non judgement, "I think maybe we stick around. That the living can't see us, but we are still here. But" He changed the subject quickly "I won't have to wait. The old man's already there. Unless I have to wait for the huntmaster too..."

Nothing he said was a lie, just lacking in conviction. This was only their second meeting, it could come out in time. Eli instead listened about Hairrette. The dog assumed she must have been a wolf, but had never seen a canine who did healing. Wolves. Go figure. It was good to know there was a healer in Gemini period, and just maybe if she was Gaven's friend she wouldn't be a massive dick to Eli. It could happen.

"That's reasonable." he wagged his tail, "I won't make a mess."


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