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Cian He/Him
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#1
(This post was last modified: March 11, 2019, 12:40:02 AM by Cian.)


c i a n //

He had been so preoccupied between exploring that purple place, and getting to know Sloan better, AND looking for that son of a bitch Sterling, he had lost track of time, and of his family.  For a while, the trek back to Gemini had been pleasant, Cian had been talking to Sloan, telling stories about pirates and things He and K and Croc would do.  He'd spoken and laughed, and called out for his brothers.  Over and over.  At first he had thought that maybe, they just couldn't;t hear him, and were just talking with their own friends.  So for a while, he gave no thought to it.  He continued his conversations with Sloan, and everything was ok.

Until it wasn't.

When they had returned to Gemini, he had said goodbye to Sloan as he raced back to the den to see Ma and Pa, and K and Croc, and Shuck.  He got there first of course, because the rest of them were too slow haha.  So he waited outside the den for them, he paced the opening, and he kicked rock, he even had time to draw a picture in the dirt as Sloan had taught him, until the light of the sun no longer lit the sky.  A pang of worry sat in his gut, but it was followed by a thought of maybe they were just spending the night at their friends.  So he slept that night, his consciousness flooding his dreams with Sterling doing unspeakable things to his brothers.  Slaugtering them, ripping them apart, destroying them.  

It wasn't until the vision of K getting pushed off a cliff into flames, that he jolted awake, shaking and in tears.  He looked around the den to see that they were still not there. "K.. Croc... Shuck?"  He called out through sniffles.  With silence as his answer, he stood, seeing Ma and Pa sleeping in the back, he walked out of the den out into the dark, cold air.  He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, and then, took off.  Sprinting in any direction.  Knowing they had to be here, there was no way he could've gotten to them.  No way.  They were too smart.  So in the bitter cold, and darkness, he ran.  Starting near the dens, sniffing for any scent of them.  He called out for them a few times, yelling their names, not caring who he woke up in the process.  He'd find them.  He had to.  They couldn't be gone-  they just couldn't.  

Cian ran, and ran, and ran, until his legs were jelly and his throat was raw.  He couldn't find any trace of any of them.  There were no scents, no trails, nothing-  it's like they just disappeared.  Before he was sad, he was distraught, now he was angry.  If they were gone that only meant one thing.

Sterling.

Cian ended up on the beach, his gaze falling over the crashing waves, he lashed out and swatted the sand.  Cursing himself.  Tears of angry falling out of his eyes.  "If only I woulda stayed near 'em.  If I hadn't -  if I hadn't been distracted.  If I hadn't spent so much time with Sloan-  maybe I coulda-  maybe they'd still-"  He cut himself off with a sob, before catching himself.  "NO.  No tears, this is your fault Cian, you don' get tah cry over 'em."  In his family, they didn't cry.  They never cried, they just got angry, they got angry and they got even. He stood there his chest heaving with emotion.  He had to find Sterling, he had to find him, and ask him what he did to them.  





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Sloan she/her
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#2





s l o a n
Her blood was woven thick within Gemini. The family-ties were bountiful; a new sibling introduced themselves to her each day, it seemed. But the bond within her family did not compare to the chains that Cian kept with his own siblings. That was clear. She recognized it the day they’d met, as he mentioned K, his other siblings, his mother and father. It was admirable to see what the pirate family would do for each other, what lengths they’d go to withhold their loyalty. What mountains they’d climb to help each succeed.

What depths they’d plummet to when one realized he’d lost his brothers and sister.

Sloan watched hopelessly from her perch, not knowing what assistance she could offer. She’d sensed that his worries for his brother and sister were heightened on their journey home from Inaria. Sloan thought, just as Cian might’ve, that K would appear back in Gemini at some point. What else could have happened?

The royal child had not experienced any trauma before, nothing more than having to watch part of Bellamy’s face be ripped off. The hurt that her family had felt before her existence was lost to her, a forbidden language that no one spoke of on her presence. Now, however, she felt unprepared to help her truest friend. Words were lost on her, not knowing how to comfort and speak to Cian for the first time since they’d met. His words carried with the wind, a pang of guilt annihilating her being as he’d blamed the loss on spending too much of his time with her. Was that true? Was she the reason they were gone? Is that what he really believed? She considered leaving then, thinking it’d be best to detonate and cool off in solitude.

But, wasn’t that the reason he was upset? His loneliness?

She suspected the regret of not walking away would weigh heavy on her, finding the nerve to turn and face his direction once more. Sloan applied her weight to the top of the send dune, letting it roll and carry her down to the shore. Her heart tripped in her chest, quickly trying to scramble the perfect words to say to make this all better. To make the grey go away. To make the light shine in Cian’s eyes again.

"Cian..." The small, perturbed-girl was terrified of startling him. Her voice remained low, shaky. "I'm so... sorry." There. That was it.

It was the most she could muster in the breath. Sloan expected that he was going to shatter at any given moment, and she was close enough to feel the impact of it if he did.




new colors, new paths to fuse
we can dance in our light
nothing ends, only new views
we can light it how we like

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Cyb She?They?Idk dude
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#3

Under the dark blanket of night, the old girl's ears swiveled.

“...aaahk! ...ay! ...uuhkk!”

Whatever weary dreams had danced between her ears dispelled: Granny was awake. How could she even consider staying asleep, hearing such urgent cries from a child?

They were too far off for her to guess a specific word, just hard -CK sounds and yells. Were they hurt? Were they alone? Had something happened? Big paws pressed into the dirt and her heavy frame heaved upward with a practiced speed that nobody would otherwise ever see, and Granny rocked her weight forward to steady herself in momentum. She was off at a slow but building lope toward the source. The sound had come from inland, and as the calls carried, they were heading toward the sea.

“Hello-o?” she called, having been closer to the beach than where the boy had started, now purposefully ambling in the brush and on the rocks which provided firmer ground than just sand. In the dark and under the stars it took her senses a moment to finally rest on him. “Ah, there you are.” A boy with sharp stripes, all colors of the waves and the water below, heaving and panting, and trying so very hard not to burst into tears. Next to him sat another – a girl – who looked like she was made of a bird's down, soft and white with beautiful red eyes.

Her own eyes, gold warmly wrapped in droopy old lids, took them in as she approached, her pace much slower now that she could see there were no immediate dangers and smell that there was no spilled blood. Nobody seemed ill, no, this was a hurt that would need a more delicate touch. “Little ones, what's wrong? What is it that you think is your fault?” Her warbly voice was woven with concern: She had not heard everything he had said, but she'd heard the tail end of it and heard the girl's reply. She did not, could not know, what family stories and fate had bestowed upon these beautiful children. What fate had in store for them. Ah, she only saw what was clearly there: Little ones let on their own, and all the more distressed for it.

Unless either of the two moved away or tried to stop her with some considerable force, the old wolf would drop her hind end onto the ground just to the side of the two and a bit closer to the more visibly upset puppy. Her breathing, heavy with the exertion of her run, was beginning to settle. “Uff. Hm. Now, I'm new to this Gemini pack, but it seems to me like nobody here tells anybody that they aren't allowed to cry. But maybe you can tell me different.” The expression of worry still etched her snowy face, but a prompting smile touched naturally across the breadth of her muzzle. “You can call me Granny. What are your names?”
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Cian He/Him
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#4


c i a n //

Burning orange eyes were cast over the churning waves, they scanned the horizon like his very being was searching for answers, or something else.  Over the sound of the breaking waves, the trickling of sand behind him could not be heard, so he did not know his dearest friend, the one he cursed out of anger, was coming to comfort him.  Of course he did not really blame her, but things said out of anger were usually the ones that hurt the most.  He wouldn't be able to take back those words, but he would make up for them, in time, he would make sure Sloan knew his true feelings.  

But for now- the only feelings Cian had, were rage.  And he wasn't sure how to deal with it.  

"Cian..."

The small familiar voice barely carried over the wind and crashing waves, but he heard her.  Her voice did not startled him, but it did cause him to turn towards her, with his ears pinned back to his head.  He had so many unanswered questions, and so many feelings, he didn't know what to do with them all.  In all his young wolf wisdom, the only thing he knew how to do was to lash out.  It was what his mother did, and what his father did after all.  It was what his entire lineage did.  Lash out.  Hurt.  Get angry.  Get even.  It was a repeating flaw.  

"I'm so... sorry."

The tears were threatening to flow, they were there on the brink of his eyes, shadowing the ocean behind him.  But they did not fall.  Pirates did not cry.  Pirates did not cry.  Pirates did not cry.  "Ya well.. so what?!" He cried out, his voice shaking, breaking, betraying the brave face he was trying to put on.  She couldn't do anything, she was a girl, and she wasn't family.  She wasn't even a pirate.  His bottom lip quivered, and he bit it hard to stop it from shaking, blood began to trickle down his chin.  He kept biting and biting, he did not want to cry, he couldn't, he shouldn't..

“Hello-o? Ah, there you are.”

Blinking the tears away, Cian gazed upwards to see another cascading down towards them.  This one was much larger than the both of them, and a lot older.  Older even than ma and pa.  Cian swallowed the lump in his throat, he tried to shout go away but the words caught in his throat.

“Little ones, what's wrong? What is it that you think is your fault?”

This time the words didn't catch in his throat, and the anger bubbled through the sadness again.  "Nothin'.  It's none yer business anyway."  He barked at her, voice threatening to break again.  He turned his body back towards the ocean, sitting down and curling his tail as tightly around him as he could.  Orange eyes looming over the ocean again, and mind looming around things little minds shouldn't be bothered with.  He didn't care that Sloan was there watching this, he didn't care about this old lady and her trying to make things better.  He wanted to be alone, he wanted to go find Sterling.  None of this would help him do that.  He heard the old lady lay down, but didn't turn back around.  

“Uff. Hm. Now, I'm new to this Gemini pack, but it seems to me like nobody here tells anybody that they aren't allowed to cry. But maybe you can tell me different.”

He swallowed another lump in his throat, he wasn't allowed to cry because it was his fault, what didn't this old lady understand?! His lip began to quiver again, and he bit it, flinching at the open wound his fangs found again.  

You can call me Granny. What are your names?”

This is when the anger bubbled again, what good do names do?  Cian wouldn't ever see K or Croc again, he could say their names over and over but it wouldn't bring them back.  He turned, ears pinned backwards again, "Why do ya wanna know?  What good is it gonna do? It doesn't matter what our names are, it won't undo what's been done." He growled, a small crack in his voice at the end, "It ain't gunna bring em back-  they're gone-   "  A small sob escaped him at the end of the realization, they weren't coming back.  Ever.  Cian was without his best friend and brother, forever.

"They're gone.."  He whispered, tears silently began to fall, hitting the sand.


"They're gone, an' 's all my fault.. I jus' ... wanna see em again..'M sorry.. 'M so s-sorry.." He sobbed, sinking to the ground, covering his face with his paws.  








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#5
(This post was last modified: March 24, 2019, 11:21:29 AM by Sloan.)





s l o a n
Thankful understated the way Sloan felt when the older woman approached, feeling powerless against the odds of trying to help Cian see that he isn’t to blame for his siblings’ disappearance. For as young as she was, Sloan was inexperienced with trying to comfort the feeling of remorse and grief; perhaps the older lady was more seasoned. Her mouth felt dry, swallowing lumps as she tried to think of a response to Cian’s retort – constantly reminding herself that he must not mean to come off so rash. Sometimes when people are hurting, they try to hurt others, too. That’s what she’s always been told about the way Draco plays, anyway.

She was thankful when the older lady asked a question that she could answer, “I’m Sloan…” She answered gently,  twisting her lips as she hoped Cian would be courteous enough to introduce himself, too. Respect your elders, right? Or was that not written in Pirate’s Code?

Wincing as Cian gave a similarly vulgar response to the woman who asked to be called Granny (which, Sloan would catch herself thinking was quite appropriate). She turned herself, mimicking Cian, when he spun to face the ocean. Staring at the foaming waves as they reached, lurching towards them, and then slipped away quickly. Such a repetitive pattern. Staring down at her feet, she watched as the cold waters came close to touching their feet before falling away again.

She wondered, did the waves feel frustration, too? Coming so close to embrace only to be pulled away again and again. It’s how she’s been feeling lately with Cian, since their return. Being left to the dark depths of his thoughts and restless tide of emotions, unable to bring him the light he so easily used to bring her. She’d felt she was so close, but he was slipping.

Her eyes found Cian paws, neatly close to hers, hearing his choked sobs as he expressed his guilt again. Gently, Sloan let her paws rest over top of his, closing the gap between them as she carefully chose to rest her head on his shoulder. She had nothing to say, knowing there was little to be said that could ease the sadness that drowned his conscious.

The froth of the waves reached their paws, at last, but the chill that greeted her couldn’t stir her place next to Cian.





new colors, new paths to fuse
we can dance in our light
nothing ends, only new views
we can light it how we like

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#6

The boy was trying so hard to stay tough.

It broke her heart, it did, the softness of his small face bunched up in tight determination not to let the tears show – not even old enough yet to know that there was an obvious facial expression to “trying not to cry”. His forcefully yelped shouts came and went, lashing outward like hard water. “Oh dear,” she toned softly, her smile fading into a sadder expression. The stories being different, she had surely still seen this before.

She could smell the blood from where the tyke had bitten himself, and although she couldn't hear each gulped breath, she imagined they were likely there. Poor thing. As long as there was the sea, there would be babies who found heartbreak.

Granny was patient, unmoving at these expressions of anger. It was just going to take a little time, was all. She watched as the child with the downy ears did the dance of trying to physically match the positions of her darker friend. “Sloan! What a lovely name for a little girl!” This old woman knew nothing of royalty or wars here, yet. Only what had been found in front of her, and so far that had only been goodness. Even here, it was clear that this pup cared so much for her friend (and in lighter circumstances, that might have led to some saccharine teasing). That little lady's unique eyes were only for him: His body went from position to position – heaving breaths, tightly-wound protection, flipped back towards a fight -

There it was, flooding outward all at once. “Oh no,” she cooed. Who was gone? What had he lost? The dam finally broke and what had been hiding behind it had clearly done a number on the big heart hiding in this small ball of fur. This yet-unnamed boy, blaming himself for a loss, like all children did when they were scared and sad. Trying to be so strong for – who? Those questions could wait, because there was little that was more important than comforting a crying baby who needed to be consoled. The girl moved to settle herself onto and against him, a thoughtful gesture that Granny figured must be mimicked from that of her own family comforting her litter.

The big wolf thought about this gesture and agreed with it, scooting herself slightly closer to the two and turning to form a warm crescent wall of fat and fur around them – close enough that they could touch her if they wanted, but not so close as to interrupt the way the two were laying. “Little one, you came all the way out here on your own. You were very brave.” Her pose relaxed but attentive, rounded ears cupped forward as hot breath huffed out of her muzzle, her kindly tone unchanged by the previous rage. These were not specifically her grandchildren after all, but it was clear that all she wanted to do was scoop them up and hide them from whatever was this unspoken ill. "In fact, I bet that you've always been very brave!"

Her worn voice brought down closer to a whisper, easing the thought forward for when he might be ready to try speaking again, "You know, I came because I heard you running and shouting. Were those names that you were shouting?" She, too, laid her big head upon one front paw and cast her honey gaze on the sobbing babe. If the water was coming, so be it, her hind legs would dry out easily and in the meantime were poised to be a fine barrier for limiting these two from catching their death of cold. It was very late. Were their parents all asleep, back in warmer dens?

(What would the answer be? The worst of possibilities never crossed her mind.)
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#7

,,,just gonna drop this here, too

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YOU SAY YOU WANT
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WELL I'M YOUR PARTNER-IN-CRIME
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Cian He/Him
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#8


c i a n //


He paid no attention to the bickering and niceties between the two girls.  His molten eyes, almost snuffed out now by the sheer amount of water that had escaped them, stayed focused and glaring at the tide.  He wondered if he sat there, if he stayed still long enough if the water would come and sweep him away, out into the sea.  He was sure neither Sloan nor this large, old woman would allow such a thing, but he still longed to be taken into the sea.  He could feel Sloan creeping closer to him, trying to console him, but neither Sloan, nor Granny could get his little mind to stop thinking about what was his fault, and what was not.  Cian was to blame for the disappearance of his siblings, he didn't meet up with them as he was supposed to in Inaria, he had taken off on his own adventures instead.  

Little minds tend to wander, and Cian's wandered around in circles around itself.  

Mind going a million miles an hour, slowed slightly when the biting wind was suddenly blocked, and replaced with a warm, and comforting something behind him.  He took his eyes off the waves for mere seconds to see the old lady had curled up behind them.  Close enough to feel, but not enough to touch.  Silently he thanked her for it, for if she would have snuggled completely up to them, Cian would have let the dam break, and the waterfall would have cascaded into dark fur.  Cian took a deep, shaky breath as the waves finally met his paws, the cold liquid sending a shiver up his spine.  

“Little one, you came all the way out here on your own. You were very brave.”

"No. Thats not what brave is.."  He stated matter of factly, sniffing, his head on on the cold sand, the small waves lapping at the tips of his extended paws beside his head.  Bravery was sticking with your siblings, no matter what.  

"In fact, I bet that you've always been very brave!"

He lifted his head, ears laying back, and his head turned to look at the old lady, snarling, "Stop SAYING THAT!"  He snapped, voice cracking, focusing on her for a few seconds, eyes red from crying and salt water, before turning his head back and laying back down. "I'm not, that."  He mumbled to the ocean.  He was the furthest thing away from it.  No matter how many times Granny said it, she was wrong.  

"You know, I came because I heard you running and shouting. Were those names that you were shouting?"

At the question his lip began to quiver again, but as much as he didn't want to, the bonding happened.  Granny was very good at what she did, and as a pup, it was very hard to resist.  "Yes.."  He whispered, voice threatening to crack again.  

The waves crept closer, but he didn't move.  He let his legs get swallowed by the water, hoping maybe the bite would keep him from succumbing to his emotions.  






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